Back from the holiday break, Jon Stewart wasted no time as he dug into recent headlines, dedicating a majority of his segment to Elon Musk‘s departure from the Oval Office and his so-called Department of Government Efficiency.
“Speaking of misanthropic data-hoarders, DOGE has finally rooted out one of America’s least efficient government workers and marked him for dismissal,” he quipped at the start of The Daily Show‘s episode tonight.
No longer a “special government employee,” Stewart added that Musk was “leaving his job to make more family with his time.” He continued, referencing the billionaire’s fathering of 14 children by four different women, “He f—ed a lot I think, or just has a mail-order sperm farm going, I don’t know.”
The political comic then segued into the marked difference between the gleefully leaping Musk on the campaign trail to the “poor bastard” showcased in photos of the black-eyed Tesla CEO during his press conference opposite president Donald Trump.
“He went from tech titan, given a mandate to move fast and crush the deep state to guy who had a bad night in a Nashville bar he can’t remember, OK? He’s got that look, like, ‘Has anyone seen my shoes?’ He looks beaten down. He’s got that look on his face that I imagine his employees normally have,” Stewart said.
Referencing previous interactions in which he invited Musk to appear on the late-night show, Stewart discussed Musk’s chosen exit interview on CBS News’ Sunday Morning: “Now, obviously, we on this program would have been delighted to offer an unedited forum for Elon to discuss his journey from hard-working efficiency expert to drug-addled child star mug shot. But he chose to go in a different direction by sort of speaking to your theater-loving parents’ favorite news program.”
He continued, saying Trump had “broken this poor man,” mocking the X owner for redirecting the conversation to “spaceships” when the anchor attempted to question Musk about White House policy decisions.
“But let this be a lesson to Elon and anybody in Trump’s orbit: whatever your passionate political belief or whatever your ideology is, you will go from reaching for mine stars to dissolving in a puddle of your own urine and shame and starting a fight club with your kid just to be able to feel because Trump,” Stewart remarked, repeating POTUS’ name for emphasis as the audience dissolved into raucous cheers, “Trump doesn’t believe in anything, man.”
He concluded, “Just rolling with the punches is clearly the only strategy for happiness when you’re working for Trump. Trump’s very open secret has always been: He doesn’t believe in or care about any policy issue at all. He wants attention, he wants his ego stroked and he wants money — he wants f—wads and f—wads of money.”
Watch the full episode below:
