Can a man convert to Judaism without being circumcised?

By Beth Harpaz
May 8, 2025

Dear Bintel,

I love Judaism and Jewish culture. I would love to convert and be a part of the tribe, but I don’t intend to undergo circumcision, and I don’t want it for my future children, either. My family — at least recently, I don’t know about earlier, maybe, but who knows? — isn’t Jewish.

What should I do? What can I do? I would love for an answer or somebody to ask if possible. I’ve wondered about this for years. I live in Sicily.

Signed,Anything But That

Dear Anything But That,

I consulted two rabbis on your behalf, one here in the U.S. and one in Italy. Both have presided over conversions by men who declined to be circumcised. So it’s not impossible, and there is a relatively simple alternative ritual — a symbolic pinprick to draw blood called hatafat dam brit — that you’ll be asked to undergo instead.

Here’s what you need to consider.

Circumcision as a Jewish ritual originated in Genesis, where God tells Abraham that “every male among you” should be circumcised as a “sign of the covenant” between God and the Jews. No matter how much studying you do for your conversion, no matter how good your Hebrew gets, no matter how observant you become, you will not be accepted in most Orthodox circles if it’s known that you are uncircumcised. But maybe that doesn’t matter to you.

Either way, your decision is mostly private with the exception of certain settings — for example, a locker room at a Jewish community center. Nobody asks for physical proof when you enter a synagogue: It’s the honor system, and more liberal rabbis won’t care.

But were you to become active in an Orthodox shul, and if you were known to be a convert, you might be asked about it, and depending on the rabbi, it could become an issue. “This will close some doors,” said Rabbi Rachael Bregman of Temple Beth Tefilloh, a Reform synagogue in Brunswick, Georgia.

The case against circumcision

Bregman doesn’t require converts to be circumcised, but she acknowledges that her opinions are “not in the middle of the mainstream.” She’s written about the issue and gives three reasons for her views.

First, she said in a phone interview, since she doesn’t ask those who are born Jewish whether they are circumcised, “why would we set the bar higher?” for those who choose Judaism.

Secondly, she sees it as a gender equality issue: She doesn’t want to require something of men that is not required of women.

Rabbi Elyse Wechterman had a similar rationale when she helped me answer a Bintel letter several years ago from a Jewish mother who didn’t want her baby boy circumcised. Wechterman is an adviser for an organization called Bruchim that provides resources and community for Jews and Jewish families who opt out of circumcision. “Fifty percent of the Jewish population has never been circumcised,” she said. “They’re called girls.”

Bregman’s third reason for not requiring circumcision from converts is simply this: She is not halachic, meaning a deeply observant Jew who observes every rule. Why elevate the commandment to circumcise above all others?

Circumcision in the US and in Italy

The issue doesn’t come up much in the U.S., though, because around 80% of American men are already circumcised. The procedure was routinely performed on newborns here until the 1970s, when medical guidance began to change. The American Academy of Pediatrics now states that the health benefits “are not great enough to recommend routine circumcision.” As a result, the practice of doctors circumcising newborns regardless of religion is declining, though the most recent statistics suggest that more than half of newborn boys in the U.S. are still circumcised.

It’s different in Italy. Circumcision was never routinely performed there, and less than 3% of the male population is circumcised. So virtually all the male converts who study under Rabbi Barbara Aiello, an American-born rabbi who has lived and worked in Calabria for 20 years, must make a decision about whether to undergo the procedure.

Aiello doesn’t require it, and in fact, she recommends against it for older converts. For adults, “it is major surgery,” she said, requiring three days in the hospital. It’s also considered elective surgery, and the Italian health care system does not permit elective surgery for people over 45. “On so many levels,” she said, “it is a big deal.”

Nevertheless, some of Aiello’s students do undergo full circumcisions — including one who moved to Israel and joined the IDF.

Alternate ritual: ‘hatafat dam brit’

Those who don’t undergo circumcision instead undergo the hatafat dam brit, a symbolic pinprick to draw a drop of blood from the penis. The ritual is also performed on converts who are already circumcised, in order to signify that covenant with God.

In the U.S., hatafat dam brit may be performed by a mohel, but in Italy, Aiello sends her students to urologists, and she notes that the doctor need not be Jewish. Bregman relies on a congregation member who is a physician.

Aiello, who mentors converts both in person and online through a program called Darshan Yeshiva, said she’s “yet to encounter someone who refused to do the hatafat dam brit.”

Italian Catholics with Jewish ancestry

Aiello also urges anyone who’s Italian and contemplating conversion to investigate their family’s roots. She’s encountered many conversion candidates who discovered they had Jewish ancestry despite being raised Catholic. In Italy, as in Spain, thousands of Jews were forced to convert to Christianity during the Inquisition some 500 years ago. Certain Italian surnames are associated with Jewish heritage.

Aiello has known a number of converts who suddenly realized their unusual family customs — lighting candles on Friday night, or covering mirrors after someone dies — were markers of Jewish roots. Her own Italian-born father and uncle were secretly told that they were Jewish, but that knowledge was kept from girls in the family so as not to harm their marriage prospects. When Aiello’s aunts immigrated to the U.S. after World War II, though, they married Jewish men: “It’s the emotional DNA,” she said.

So who knows what you may discover on your conversion journey. Aiello said she’d be glad to have you get in touch with her, and we at Bintel wish you well as a potential future member of the tribe.

Signed,Bintel

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